Chapel And A Vampire
by Draconai
Summary: Another heat wave, another visit to the Land of the Snow Fairies. Except when Tsurara catches Tsukune and Mizore with a bouquet of snow whites, no good can come! When the dust settles, no one has a choice - a wedding for Tsukune and Mizore is bound to occur. And everything is PERFECT. Problem? Yukari has 5000 Yen to spend. Oneshot, Tsukune and Mizore


Draco: Holy Meteor I'm writing this Mulch. Yes, that says _chapel_.

Alright, this little oneshot is _not_ to be taken seriously by any definition of the word. I've only read the series up to Season II Volume 6. Because my resources need spoiler tags, I know a whole lot more Mulch goes on than I know about and I actually know some of the Mulch that goes on that I don't know about. Old snow-faced New Year's Eve tradition resulted in one hell of a dream that ran laps in my mind at fullmoon speed, and of course this draconian son of a bitch just _had_ to write it down. Where was this when I needed a Christmas special?

And on a completely unrelated note, how can I play this much Square Enix and still use 'Mulch' as a censor?

Characters, attributes, setting © Akihisa Ikeda.

* * *

Tsukune Aono in a tuxedo was the last thing anyone expected. Let alone Tsukune Aono.

It wasn't even his choice of garments. Leave it to Yokai Academy's werewolf-turned-ladies-man(-from-pervert) to dress him up for an event like this. As a rule, Tsukune couldn't wear anything that was noticeably loose, so the shape of his holy lock stood out on the black fabric, wrapped around his wrist. It wouldn't exactly be a stroll through a field of snow whites with the way his leggings were so close-fitted. The shoes were tight, and the tie felt like a noose around his neck.

Maybe that's what Ms. Tsurara wanted him to feel like. One wrong move, and you're hanged.

"This is not happening," Tsukune muttered into the mirror. "This is _not__ happening_." Sharpened senses drew him to catch notice of a bush of hair fraying up at the side of his head, and old instinct drew him to reach back and attempt to brush it down. When that failed, he grabbed a brush that had been left for him and ran it over the fray a few times.

He slammed his head into the mirror. "Damn it, this is happening!"

+x+x+x+

It all started when another heat wave struck Yokai Academy. Tsukune and the rest of the news club assumed the circumstances were the same as last time - headmaster messing with the Great Barrier equals temperature flux - so Ruby had them cleared for another trip off the school grounds. It had taken some coaxing, but eventually Mizore let them all come back to the Land of the Snow Faries for another heat-wave escape. This time, everyone was prepared for the coming weather - heavily bundled clothing, some heat-inducing magical tokens courtesy of Yukari, and better karaoke tracks - and even Ginei Morioka was glad to join in.

Tsukune was never going to get used to the sight of the place, but he believed nothing would surprise him this time. The moment Ms. Tsurara made herself present, Tsukune found the quickest possible excuse to leave (and thus, escape her usual... um... treatements). Later in the day, a snowball fight ensued, but a combination of the aforementioned heat inducers and keeping a low profile on the battlefield proved effective on the defensive.

When night fell, well, that's when it became Tsukune's fault. The moment the Shirayuki household had fallen quiet, he was quick to get out of bed, line a substitute with Yukari's trinkets to simulate body heat (he hadn't failed to notice Kurumu in the next bedroll), and make his way out of the building.

Did his escape go unnoticed? Of course not. He sneezed on his way out the door.

+x+x+x+

The trip was longer on his own, but soon enough Tsukune made it.

One of the most beautiful sights in the Land of the Snow Faries was the field. After a certain point, you couldn't take a step without threatening to tread on a flower. As far as the eye could see, it was an open void of snow whites, blowing in the breeze, wafting their scent across the face of whoever took in the view.

Slowly, Tsukune knelt down and drew off the backpack he had brought with him. The inside was lined with padding, and a seam in that padding revealed what he drew out - a beautifully crafted vase. He had brought it from home, from the human world; and now, slowly, delicately, he reached forward and began to pick the snow whites, forming a bouquet.

He didn't even notice someone come up behind him until a voice mused, "Having fun, Tsukune?"

Yelp. Spin. Collapse. A simple three-step process that made Tsukune look like an absolute fool - not to mention spill his bouquet, although the vase was saved by the snowdrift it landed in - as he tumbled into the snow whites field. When the petals fell away from around his face, however, Tsukune was relieved it was Mizore who stood there - he wasn't sure who it was who had snuck up behind him and was relieved it was a friend.

"Mizore," he gasped, getting to his feet.

The snowgirl nodded. "Sorry about that, Tsukune," she murmured. "What are you doing out here?"

"I was... picking flowers," Tsukune replied. "What are you doing here?"

The question caused Mizore to reach down and pick up one of the fallen snow whites, holding it close to her.

"I... I heard you leaving," she admitted. "Since I led you here, last time... I wanted to see where you would lead me."

+x+x+x+

Tsukune and Mizore didn't linger around at the field of snow whites. The moment Tsukune had recompleted his bouquet, they had started back to Mizore's place, hoping not to be seen. In addition, Tsukune wasn't willing to take the chances on how long the substitute in his bedroll would convince Kurumu. When they got inside, however, the sight of the rest of the news club coming down the hall prompted him and Mizore to pull back and find another route back to the bedroom.

Easier said than done, for the Shirayuki household was a twisting labyrinth. Eventually, the two of them took cover in the closest room when the news club began to catch up to them and any alternative options would result in them being caught. Tsukune and Mizore stood facing the door for the longest time, panting heavily from the run - Mizore moreso than Tsukune.

Tsukune's panting, in fact, came to an abrupt stop, causing Mizore to turn to him. "Something wrong?"

"The others," Tsukune stated. "If they caught so much as a glimpse of us, they'd be pretty riled up, right? And even I'd be able to detect them. But right now - there's no one outside the door."

Mizore's eyes widened. "Then..."

Tsukune grabbed the door and flung it open, revealing a large pile of ice shards outside the door.

"Ice dolls," Mizore gasped.

It was then that footsteps behind them caused both of them to turn, revealing Tsurara Shirayuki walking towards them - although her walking came to an abrupt stop when they faced her, a look of surprise rising on her face.

Tsukune was about to ask what she found so surprising when he realized he still had a bouquet of snow whites in his hands.

+x+x+x+

Two words: Oh. Crap.

_Squared._

When a mother is as desperate for her daughter to have children as Tsurara is - and granted, that is a literal desperation - she will take any excuse to get said daughter a boyfriend. Last year's school festival misunderstanding didn't help matters, nor did the boquet of seduction flowers that was sitting in Tsukune's hands.

Tsukune dumped the bouquet out the nearest window and hid the vase in a closet. Unfortunately, Ms. Tsurara's little 'spy dreams' meant that her snow fairy home came equipped with security cameras, a photo from which she passed around to the entire news club the next morning. (Including Gin. Just when he was starting to regret sitting through that karaoke session...)

No matter how you look at it, Tsukune and Mizore did _something _last night - and a succubus like Kurumu is going to jump to the worst case scenario. After a thorough illusiory vine lashing (how the hell does one justify vines under aurora borealis?), Kurumu had promptly gone to the next room and cried her eyes out with such utter torment that even Ms. Tsurara had to allow Tsukune to go console her.

With Mizore trying (and failing) to explain it to Moka, Yukari, Ruby, and Gin as he left, the human boy got to his feet and made his way to Kurumu's side. With a bit of a role-reversing scenario when the only way to get Kurumu to look at him straight was a hug that would reduce any of the aforementioned others to tears, Tsukune did his best to explain the matter to Kurumu and assure her that he would do his best to confirm that this meant _nothing_.

Which, of course, resulted in more unjustified illusiory vines when they got back to the others to find Mizore giving up on the explanation (because nobody bought a _word_) and Tsurara taking matters into her own hands. To quote, "Tsukune has chosen Mizore over you, so why don't you all accept it, give up on your pursuits, and find someone else?" In his desperate attempt to stop said vines, Tsukune might be excused for the crack that echoed from his holy lock - and his subsequent passing out when said attempt was, in fact, desperate.

When Tsukune came to, what followed can only be descibed as 'ice mom hell'. Moka informed him that Mizore had met a similar state in the quake, Ruby informed him that Tsurara had defended herself efficiently and successfully, Yukari burst into tears and grabbed Moka's arm for support (which Moka provided), and Kurumu irritably (complete with the whole wings-claws-tail setup) told Tsukune that Tsurara was currently arranging "a... a ceremony."

Which was kind of ambiguous. "Ceremony?" Tsukune asked.

"Well... event," Kurumu corrected.

Still ambiguous. "Event?"

"I mean... occurence."

"_Occurence?_"

Yukari now took it upon herself to scream, "She's setting up a wedding!"

+x+x+x+

And now, as Tsukune reached to correct the hair damage that resulted from his head-desk (or rather, head-_mirror_) action, he heard a knock on his door, quickly followed by Gin calling, "Tsukune, come on, let's go!"

"I'm coming," Tsukune called, setting the brush down. Truth be told, he had nothing against Mizore for this - one does not simply argue with a bladed ice tree aimed at one's forehead - but this was still hardly an ideal occurence. And that _wasn't_ considering Tsurara's choice of location. It was being held at Witch's Knoll - a combination of bad memories for the entire news club as well as less-than-ideal weather for the snowgirls involved. It didn't help that the headmaster seemed eerily excited about the prospect and was clearing the _entire academy_ for the day so that whoever wanted to attend, could.

As far as Tsukune knew, most of the audience was going to be from the school - however, everyone had been explicitly told that this was going to occur _in the human world_ and that _all supernatural transformations _are_ strictly prohibited. Kuyo style._ Under desperate hopes that his parents would _not_ be in attendance - especially considering what had happened last time his parents had seen Mizore, Kurumu, Yukari, and Moka - Tsukune made his way outside and up to the bus stop - complete with bus and ominous bus driver.

Tsukune looked around. "Where are the others?" he asked Gin as they got on board.

This earned him a newmoon smack to the back of the head as he and Gin sat down in uniform tuxedos. "Seriously?" Gin prompted. "Everyone knows that the guys don't get to see the bride until she's walking down the carpet with the seventy-foot bridal train, and a good eighty percent of the time, the rest of the girls arrive with her."

"That sounds like some kind of Brothers Grimm remake," Tsukune observed, slumping in his seat.

"Have you never been to a wedding?"

"No," Tsukune confirmed. "And I'm talking about the seventy-foot thing."

_Wedding_, he thought. _Nothing in my wildest nightmares could have prepared me for this. Okay, there was incident with the snow whites last time we were at Mizore's place, but still - a _wedding_? What justifies this?_

+x+x+x+

"What justifies this?" Yukari protested into the mirror.

None of the other girls had a logical answer. All of them were gathered in Moka's room, dressed and currently applying makeup. Even Mizore, who sat in the corner with a depressed and guilty look under her veil, had no idea what otherworldly force could make this plausible.

"I haven't the slightest clue," Koko admitted after a moment - her only hesitation being lipstick application. "The snow whites are one thing, but..."

"Koko?" As the vampire freshman turned to Ruby, she asked, "Where's Batty?"

Koko turned back to the mirror with a guilty look on her face. "With Kurumu. In claymore mode. On a punching bag. With Ms. Tsurara's face on it."

Mizore turned in a shock. "With Mother's face on it?"

"Very beautifully drawn, too," Koko admitted. "Did you know Kurumu was an artist?"

That was the end. Mizore got to her feet and left the room, leaving Moka, Yukari, Ruby, and Koko standing there mid-preparation. And speaking of Moka, she seemed oddly out of the conversation and actually seemed to be strictly focused on the mirror in front of her.

Yukari sighed. "This is a nightmare," she murmured. It was apparent that she was doing everything in her power not to cry so that she wouldn't look like a mascara-massacre when they arrived. "We've got to do _something_ about this."

Koko shook her head. "I don't see that there's anything we _can_ do," she admitted.

"Come on," Yukari protested. "We got Mizore-"

"That was a kidnapping/marriage-arrangement by a sexist sadist," Ruby reminded her. "Our breakout involved a detailed map, a lot of combat, a vampire who wasn't afraid to transform, and firearms. Or... snow...-arms. This is a simple case of circumstance and misunderstanding."

"_Simple?!_" Yukari protested.

Koko turned to see Moka still looking in her respective mirror. She was applying her makeup curiously eagerly. "Big sis?" she called.

"Alright. Got it." Moka turned towards the others and everyone pulled back. She had a shockingly eager look on her face, and she could have been _glowing_ - and that _wasn't_ including the fact that the gem on her rosario looked like _a vampire's eye._

"Guys, I've got an idea," she said eagerly. "Well, _Inner-Me_ has an idea. And Kurumu _can't know_."

Everyone looked at her in shock. Yukari had a look of total and complete awe on her face and appeared to be about to cry a whole 'nother set of tears. "You mean...?"

Moka nodded. "We're going to mess up the plans again. But this time we need it to be a lot more subtle. We're going to need outside help. And we can't make _one_ wrong move."

Koko didn't know whether to scream in joy or in torment. "What kind of outside help are we going to need?"

It was then that Moka turned to the witches, which everyone thought meant there was going to be magic neccessary.

"Ruby, do you know how to contact the Graffiti Demon?"

+x+x+x+

To top off the whole problem with the scenario at Witch's Knoll, Ms. Tsurara informed them upon arrival that they were holding it _inside Lady Oyakata's old horticulture shed_. Granted, she had done an excellent job on the redecorating, and the place was big enough to substitute for the usual wedding chapel - hell, it could substitute for a _royal_ wedding chapel - but Tsukune still felt kind of scared that they were going to run into a Hanabake plant or something.

The crowd was already there - Tsukune wouldn't be surprised if the bus driver had already made a few stops at the local gas station (assuming the bus, you know, _ran on g__as in the first place_) just on that day - and someone was playing a pipe organ to keep the atmosphere. Nervous sweating initiated. Gin noticed and secretely slipped the unwilling groom a bottle of cologne. Just phrasing it like that made Tsukune want to head-desk, but without a brush nearby he decided to put up with it, accepted the cologne, and took his place.

An hour or so later (about the time Tsukune would expect the bus to take a round trip to Yokai Academy), Moka, Koko, Yukari, and Ruby arrived in the chapel in a sudden rush. Tsukune was instantly confused. Kurumu walked behind them, looking absolutely _broken_, again, leaving Tsukune feeling horribly guilty. Gin, who was in best-man position, saw the bridesmaids walking in and quickly slipped away, leaving Tsukune to roll his eyes.

A few moments later, the big doors opened all dramatic, and even Tsukune didn't need to see Mizore's face behind the veil to know the bride has arrived, play the wedding music on the big-ass pipe organ as her father leads her through the chapel to arrive face to face with her groom.

Tsukune _did_ have to admit that Mizore looked beautiful. Her dress was a silvery blue colour that rippled like snowfall, so it looked like she was wrapped in a blizzard as she walked down the aisle. Gin didn't seem to be kidding about a seventy-foot bridal train, either, but it was covered in beautiful snowflake patterns of varying sizes - true to form, no two had the same pattern, even when the size difference would be enough to handwave it - and in her hands was a bouquet of snow whites (thanks for the jab, Ms. Tsurara).

As she took her place before Tsukune, he gently reached forward and lifted the veil from her face. Her makeup had been applied beautifully, and that wasn't to mention there were snowflakes in her eyelashes and streaks of ice down her hair. Combine with the scent of the snow whites that was right between them, which seemed designed to make Mizore seem more beautiful than she already was, and Tsukune knew that if this had been his choice, he couldn't have asked for it to go any more perfect.

Yokai Academy Rule 17: When everything's going perfect, that's usually when hell breaks loose.

"Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to celebrate the joining of Mizore Shirayuki and Tsukune Aono in marriage..."

Kurumu, at the edge of the crowd, hardly noticed Moka coming up somberly beside her - somber herself as she was. "Kind of hard to believe, huh," Moka mused quietly.

The succubus nodded weakly. "Yeah..." she replied with a weak whisper. "I... kind of thought it would be you up there."

Moka was surprised at that. "Really?" she asked, still quiet. "I was scared you were going to make it _you_ if you had to throw a Charm spell at him and lay one on him."

"Never," Kurumu gasped. "I swore I wouldn't use any dirty tricks. If it wasn't me... standing there with him... I would have made the cake for you guys."

That threw a werewolf-outrunning hardball at Moka. "That's... generous of you, Kurumu," she murmured.

Kurumu nodded, clearly straining not to cry. "I mean, I... I wouldn't let you settle... for one of those storebought ones," she declared quietly. "Too much sugar in the icing... too little flavour in the cake... I can't believe... Mizore's mom... got one."

_Damn it, Kurumu!_ Moka had never thought of Kurumu in that context before, but this was a wrench _in the wrench_ in the plan. _And you called _me_ wishy-washy!_

The vampire's eye lit up on her rosario.

_Focus_._ We have a plan, stick to the plan. I don't know how long these speech things last, but if you let him finish Tsurara's not going to let you say 'I object' and that Fairy Tale bastard won't cut it either._

"Huh?" Kurumu turned weakly. "Did you say something...?"

Moka shook her head. "Nothing," she murmured, "just... talking to myself." Literally, although it wasn't Outer-Moka that was doing the talking. She raised her gaze to the chapel. "I'm kind of surprised that Ms. Tsurara got it set up so quickly," she mused quietly.

Kurumu smiled. Even a succubus has to admit the amount of speed a determined matchmaker (or matchmakee) can set something up. "You're right," she admitted. "Who makes a cake that fast?"

_Not me,_ Inner-Moka mused.

Outer-Moka did not argue with her on that one. In fact, just to relieve such tension, she mused, "Not me."

"Not you, or not _Inner_-You?" Kurumu jabbed.

_That's just mean,_ Inner-Moka retaliated.

"Neither," Outer-Moka replied, keeping quiet. "But give Ms. Tsurara props for finding one so quick. I thought it would have been noticeable before things got setup,"

Kurumu was slightly confused, but just went along with, "Yeah."

"Okay, granted," Moka admitted quietly, "you don't want it to show up in the photos, but I still figured you'd see _something_ of it at a side-view before the ceremony was underway."

Now Kurumu was _definitely_ confused. "Wait, what?" she asked.

Moka turned. "You didn't know?" she mused, whispering.

"Hey, big sis!" The loud whisper caused them to turn to see Koko stepping towards them. Batty was perched on her shoulder, tears dripping from his eyes (just because you get tearful at a wedding). "Can you see it from here?"

_Perfect timing, Koko_, Outer-Moka observed. "Don't think so," she replied quietly, looking towards the altar where Kurumu and Tsukune were standing. The old man was still reading his book. "There might be _something_, but it's probably just because she's not allowed one of her fridge-pops."

Koko rolled her eyes. "Sure," she murmured, "give her the benifit of the doubt."

Kurumu was freaking out. "What's going on?" she demanded quietly. "What are you guys talking about?"

The question caused Koko to face her with a surprised look on her face. "You don't know?" she asked.

"My _just_ question," Moka observed.

"Stop ignoring me!" Kurumu snapped, struggling to keep quiet and earning some annoyed gazes from nearby crowd members.

Three...

Batty flew down and formed a rapier strapped to Koko's waist.

Two...

Moka and Koko exchanged glances, looking honestly surprised.

One...

Anyone would _swear_ Inner-Moka closed the eye on the rosario.

Then Koko said, casually and with a completely normal voice, "Have you ever heard of a shotgun wedding?"

The look on the face of hell-charming lexicon-tricking twin-peaked succubus Kurumu Kurono: AHHH! **_Priceless._**

"_WHAT?!_"

It came out louder than she meant it to. Everyone turned - Tsukune, Mizore, and the old guy with the book included - to see Kurumu standing there looking absolutely _horrified._ Eyes wide? Moka didn't know succubus eyes _went_ that wide. Step back? Kurumu was doing the _splits_ back - and showing some serious leg while she was at it. Cause? There was a rapier on Koko's waist, Shakespearean style, and she now reached up to her mouth and closed her teeth around the largest appendage on her left hand.

Haiji Miyamoto, who happened to be standing right at the edge of the crowd, was absolutely horrified. "Did you just bite your thumb?"

_200..._

Koko turned to him... and did the same to her right hand. "I bite my thumb _at_ _you,_" she scolded. "Problem?"

Haiji opened his mouth and garbled something intelligent, like "Uh um waka waka ey ey um uh duh..."

_400..._

If Moka had to guess, the voice from the back row that shouted, "She's got a blade! Everyone take cover!" would probably be Nagare Kano. This naturally resulted in the whole crowd panic rising.

Kurumu now recovered from her shock, shot up to face Moka, and demanded. "_Why didn't you tell me-!?_"

Tsurara was on her feet, shouting, "Everyone calm down, relax, stay calm," like a typical attempted problem-calmer, along with a murmur of "where's a glass of water when I need it..."

Tsukune and Mizore looked like they were worried, too - Koko _was_ known to draw Batty at a moment's notice - and a few people were stepping on Mizore's bridal train.

_600..._

Finally, Mizore's mother got tired of it and drew out an _actual_ shotgun from under her kimono, firing it into the air. This quieted everyone down for a moment, at which point Tsurara shouted, "Would you all please calm down!?"

But of course, who wears a shotgun to a wedding? Everyone started screaming again, and now they were actively trying to leave, causing Tsurara to lower the firearm and set a hand on her forehead.

_800..._

Tsukune was now on the verge of panic, and Mizore now linked arms with him and took off, racing towards the door. Tsurara noticed and started after them - and for a very similar reason, so did Gin. Yukari, Ruby, and Koko saw this and followed suit, and when Moka pointed to the escaping bride-and-groom, Kurumu turned and chased, shouting, "_Get back here you premartial icebending-!_"

The shouting came to an abrupt and audible stop, and Moka followed them, worried. The passage through which everyone had escaped was two turns in Z formation, and given that Moka saw Mizore's bridal train on the first turn, she immediately panicked and started dashing.

Which immediately turned into becoming part of the crowd-stop.

Inner-Moka started **dying**. _1-Up!_

Sitting there was what was supposed to be a beautiful little wedding-carriage vehichle. Motorbike and sidecar _was_ Tsurara's spy-style, but she had made the setup absolutely darling to fit in with the snow motif - snowflake figures that seemed to have been welded onto the surfaces, a few lovely windstroke figures along the motorbike's hood, and the usual banner across the back reading _JUST MARRIED,_ complete with dangling snowflake rattlers.

The Graffiti Demon was standing there with spray-paint in hand, and two empties on the ground by his bladed feet.

Several of the snowflakes had been _de-welded_ from the sidecar. The once silvery-blue vehichle was now scorching red, with black patterns like Tsukune's _ghoul_ markings - complete with assymetical orientation and _two punctures in the hood of the bike_. The windstrokes had been turned into holy locks - one of which was broken - the snowflake rattlers were now skulls - hardcore graffiti taken to its extremes - and that banner? That now read _JUST SCREWED._ In _blood_.

Seeing the bride and groom (and crowd) caused the Graffiti Demon to rush forward. He lashed out with a flurry of cut-kicks that sliced all over Tsukune's tuxedo without so much as _scratching _him - the sleeve in particular was decimated revealing the holy lock on his arm. "Sweet, I got it right." He then raced around to Mizore and rushed a few red streaks over her dress before drawing out a paintbrush and speed-painting a bleeding bite marks on her neck. Her dress subbornly refused to let the paint soak in, leaving the streaks looking like bleeding cuts.

Neither of them reacted, both staring at the vehichle. Tsurara was screaming on the inside, and Gin looked stupefied. Ruby, Yukari, Moka, and Koko had individual grins from Kantō to New York, and Kurumu looked mortified.

Yukari gave them both a push. "Last one back to Yokai's a slug monster!"

That was good enough for them. Tsukune raced up to the bike and leapt in the driver's seat. Mizore rushed forward and clambered into the sidecar as Tsukune reached for the keys and twisted. The bike roared to life, and he grabbed the motorcycle helmet that had been sitting on the handle bars - and consequently stained red.

Tsurara now shoved her way through the crowd. "Mizore!" she shouted from the front of the group. "What are you doing?"

Mizore turned to her mother and smiled. She lowered the bouquet that was still in her hands, revealing a fridge-pop that she unwrapped with one hand. "I said it already," she called, "I can handle this on my own, Mother!"

She popped the candy in her mouth with a wink and threw the bouquet of snow whites into the air, prompting the Graffiti Demon to raise his can and spray. By the time it hit the ground, the flowers were stained with red, and Tsurara could only watch as Tsukune put on the helmet and revved the engine - after which he quickly figured out how to shift gears.

Mizore pulled off her bridal train, her hair forming an icy helmet of her own. "Have you ever driven a motorcycle?"

Tsukune flexed the fingers of his right hand, and the holy lock gleamed as he grasped the handlebars. "Nope."

The engine proceeded to scream as he and Mizore took off through a field of sunflowers - and consequently, into rush hour traffic.

With a smirk, the Graffiti Demon turned to Yukari. "Pay up."

Yukari handed over a wad of bills. "Best five thousand yen I've ever spent."

Kurumu deflated. Emotionally (it _is_ kind of hard to deflate _those_).

Tsurara turned to them with a look of disbelief on her face as the artist pocketed the dough and skated backwards. "I'll be at the bus!" he called over his shoulder.

"I can't believe it," she murmured. "You just..."

Moka stepped forward. "I just took a family-selfish mother's time-efficient attempts to trap her daughter in a relationship with the boy she _know__s_ and has _explicitly stated_ she wants to win fairly, undermined them with such utter fluency it would make a Monty Mole _cry_, and hired a monstrel for one _hell_ of an epic paint job. I just had a succubus who was brought to the verge of death _by her own tears_ saved three times over and _made a deal_ that she would bake the cake if she wasn't the one at the altar next time. I just got Tsukune Aono's spirits the highest they've been since _before he arrived at Yokai Academy_."

Tsurara's mouth was open mid-chastisize.

"And I did it in a _dress_."

Koko was now staring at Moka as well. "Big sis?"

Moka turned nervously. "Inner-Me's words. Feels kind of weird talking like that."

Tsurara had no retaliation. She turned and followed the earth-cuts from the Graffiti Demon's skates to the bus.

Everyone parted, revealing Kurumu with her mouth open and her claws half-lengthened. "You mean... you hijacked this wedding... for _me?_"

Moka nodded. "Kurumu, you have _no idea_ how heartbreaking it is to see you in tears. If it weren't for _you_, we might have left this thing completely alone, which would be forfeit by white flag with black wings. And that _hurts_."

Kurumu looked at Moka for a long time.

Cue tearful hug.

+x+x+x+

On a different, but not completely unrelated note, it took Mizore and Tsukune three tries before they found the Four-Dimensional Tunnel that took them back to Yokai Academy. And they _still_ won.

When they arrived at the school building, the headmaster was waiting for them. Tsukune took off his helmet (revealing catslit pupils and bloodred irises) and Mizore's hair defrosted (though the streaks that had been on her original wedding outfit were still present) as they got off. The headmaster didn't question the motorcycle, or its hellbound appearance, or the _JUST SCREWED_ banner across the back, or Tsukune's tuxedo being torn all over, or the seemingly bloody cuts across Mizore's dress.

"How did the wedding go?"

Tsukune and Mizore glanced at each other and smiled before turning back to the headmaster.

As one, they spoke.

"It was... _perfect_."

* * *

Draco: This was not the wedding scene you thought it was going to be. Blame it on the fact that my only wedding referents are _Tangled Ever After_, the _Monsters Vs Aliens_ opening, _Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer_ bookends, and one hell of a jaded memory. And yes, the headmaster is _definitely_ the type to ask "How did the wedding go?" and not even bat an eye at the fact that the motorbike looks like it took one too many shots of vampire blood.

It took me more effort squeezing in as many nerdy references as you can in fanfiction for a manga where the main theme is _blood_ than it did double-checking names. _ALL NAMES ARE OFFICIAL ENGLISH NAMES. I READ THE OFFICIAL ENGLISH TRANSLATION. _Except _maybe_ Batty. The translators slipped in Volume 5 and called him Ko-chan. If that ends up being regular past volume 6 I swear I'll come back and change it.

Read & Review, Febass!


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